what you’ll find here
Inclusivity in outdoor recreation, traveling affordably, mental health awareness, stories about my adventures, helpful tips that I could have used when I was learning things and haven’t read elsewhere, honest and meaningful accounts of living with depression and anxiety, and general positivity and humor. And puppies (I’m only half kidding about the puppies).
is pevzdispenser for me?
This blog is for two (generally) kinds of folks.
Type 1: Maybe you grew up in a city and didn’t have access to a field or forest or creek growing up. Maybe you’ve never skied outside the bunny hill, or climbed on real rock, or gone for a walk in a desert. Maybe your parents were immigrants like mine and didn’t have money or time to bring you to your local National Forest or State Park. Maybe you grew up doing all these things but mental hang-ups, lack of money or time or interest have driven you away, and now you’re thinking of coming back. This is for you.
Type 2: You don’t fit the category for type 1, but you’re still here. Thanks! That means you either like my writing or are interested in what I’m saying. I appreciate that. This is also for you. Can you show me somewhere cool to climb?
about me: in the beginning
My parents met when my dad stuck my mom headfirst in a snowbank in the outskirts of Moscow in the late 80s at a meet up for a local climbing group. That’s pretty much how I aspire to live my life. My folks were outdoorsy- my mom was a backpacker and kayak-packer, my dad a climber and mountaineer. The stories of their adventures defined my childhood. After my dad died when I was 2, we moved from Russia to the US. I grew up on the east coast, hearing about mountains but never going to find them myself.
anxiety & depression…
I struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life, often without realizing it. Both interfered with my ability to spend quality time outdoors. It took me hitting rock bottom (several times over) to realize that I needed to be humorously honest about mental health to get myself out on the trail.
…moving to Colorado
I’m not the most outdoorsy person. I’ve spent a lot of time “looking for myself” (as we all do). Up and moving to Colorado was an intentional step to get closer to the mountains and learn to live my parents’ stories for myself.